Apple Doll SittingDo you have a childhood item that you have always been attached to, regardless of how old you grow? I do. That’s my apple doll.

I saw the doll for the first time when I was in 5th grade, living in Beijing. I visited a park with friends and spotted the doll that was hung on the wall, behind a store counter. I didn’t have enough money with me at that point to buy it.

But after I returned home I couldn’t forget the doll. I took money out of my piggy bank, and went on a bus back to the park, in the light rain. And I got her.

It was not because I had a habit to collect toys or dolls, I had few toys up to that age and was never eager to buy any, except for this one.

Apple Doll On TummyCan’t explain why the impulse, I had more dolls later on but never felt the same for any other. I loved everything about her. The sweet and shy smile, the cute freckles, the soft hat, the little body vs. big head, the dangling arms and legs – easy to arrange poses, either shy, or proud, or naughty… It’s also easy to maintain, when it’s dirty, put in washer to take a bath and no damage is done.

When I came abroad the doll was the only thing I took that did not belong to the “necessities” category. Today when I look at or hold her, who still has the same scent as day 1, I feel the same fondness, probably more attachment due to the link to the memories.

I know that most other people won’t feel the same with this doll but I know many of them have their own “little toys” that they were attached to, that bring out the tenderness in them, that bear memories, whether or not they still possess the “toys” at hand, whether they are gals or guys.

My 3 year old son definitely have such little attachment toys – a race car, a robot, a helicopter. Whenever he cannot spot any of them, he will be upset and look all over for them…

Apple Doll Hiding MouthThe apple doll will be with me wherever I move, even when I have all white hair. She, and some other items, remind me not to lose the purity and tenderness deep down. Those are some beautiful stuff.